Everybody seems excited about the New Year, and it does seem like things truly are different. The annual holiday friendliness of many people hasn't fully worn off yet. The parking lot for the gym at the YMCA was full, and jockying for spots on the street was as intense as the spinning and lifting inside. Lands End has never shipped more raingear to Southern California. The pews at church this morning were beginning to fill up again after vacation, and the sermon was, fittingly, on new beginnings.
Dinnertime conversation with our four children centered on a particular kind of new beginning: high school winter formal. Our senior son has a date, our freshman son is considering his options, and our pre-teen daughters have a lot of advice. The advice consisted mainly of pressuring our freshman son to "Ask somebody!"
But the heart of the conversation was the story my wife told about her freshman year in college at Berkeley, and being pressured by her friends to find a date for her sorority's winter formal. "Just find a friend and ask him," they implored. She picked a guy she had talked with a few times, but first sought clearance from his ex-girlfriend, a young woman who lived in her rooming house - and who had introduced them. "Well, umm, sure, that's fine with me," she was told, which was followed by a long, uncomfortable period of silence. "Thanks!" my wife said, finally darting off, away from her housemate and her two friends. Moments later, she spotted the guy walking across campus, and made the ask right there, right then, no time like the present. Unfortunately, the guy was already hosting a party in his dorm room the night of the winter formal, so that would be a problem. But, after a few moments, he hesitated, reconsidered, and decided that he could hold the party some other night. "I'd love to go with you" he finally declared, and the date was set.
One often has no idea of when a new beginning starts, or to what it will lead. What is the right advice to offer a son about his winter formal? My wife's college winter formal had led - some years and much drama later - to her sitting in our dining room with the same guy and their four children over a good dinner, slow and unrushed, full of sharing and funny stories. Including the best, luckiest story of my life.
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